03 April 2008

A Witches Cauldron of Chili

I thought I'd share a fun recipe with you today I found somewhere on the net a few years ago:
A Witches Cauldron of Chili! It's still nippy outside in my area and cold in other parts of world... if you like chili then try this one out! :D

A Witches Cauldron of Chili

1 1/4 Pounds ground goblin gizzards (ground beef 15%
fat) *Vegans and Vegetarians leave out the ground goblin gizzards

1 Medium eye of Cyclops (onion)

1 15 Oz. Can soft shelled beetles (kidney beans)

1 28 Oz. Can blood of bat (V-8 juice)

1/8 Teaspoon pureed wasp (prepared mustard)

1/4 Teaspoon common dried weed (oregano)

1 Dash Redtailed hawk toenails (crushed red

2 Teaspoons ground sumac blossom (chili powder)

1 Teaspoon hemlock (honey or sugar)

1/2 Cup fresh grubs (sliced celery)

1 Tablespoon eye of Newt (pearled barley)

1 Tablespoon dried maggots (uncooked rice)

Water from a stagnant pond (tap water)

Preparation :

Substitutions are in parenthesis. Best made during the last phase
of the moon, if that is not possible, just do the best you can in a
softly lighted kitchen after dark.

Brown the gizzards in an iron cauldron over a fire made from the
siding off of a haunted house, add chopped eye of cyclops and simmer
until the pieces of eye become translucent again, add blood of bat,
and soft shelled beetles, bring to a slow bubbling boil. At this time,
add the common weed, maggots, toenails, sumac,
grubs, hemlock, eye of newt and the pureed wasp.
As it cooks you may want to adjust the consistency with pond water.
You can tell it is done when the eye of newt swells and the vertical
tan colored 'cats eye' appears on one side.

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